Gay Men Counseling

Are you struggling in a same-sex relationship? Are you looking for a gay-friendly counselor in Phoenix who understands the unique aspects of being gay, or of being in a gay relationship?

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If you’re seeking gay couples counseling for you and your partner or husband, if you want to improve your connection with your partner or work through the lingering emotions of a recent breakup — like hurt, sadness, rejection and resentment — we’re here to help.

These feelings may have prevented you from getting into another relationship, or kept you distanced from dating, or from your new partner, out of fear of getting hurt again. If infidelity was involved, that can also make it harder to heal and move on. You’re feeling rejected, angry and insecure, and want to get over the pain of being cheated on. I help couples resolve and move on from these issues, and will work with you and your partner to navigate your relationship and the boundaries you establish.

Other difficulties may be keeping you from living your best life. If you’re looking for help with issues like coming out, sexuality, self-esteem or family of origin issues — or if you’re a man transitioning from your married life prior to coming out, we can work together.

I also work with individuals managing the difficulties related to HIV+ issues. We can begin to resolve negative experiences, including abuse you may have experienced growing up, or challenging relationships with parents or caregivers.

If any of these issues resonate with you, as a therapist who specializes in working with men, I can help you.

Many Gay Men Struggle to Feel Accepted in Their Life and Relationships

You’re not alone in dealing with these issues. If you’re struggling in your relationship, there are many couples like you and your partner working through similar conflicts. Couples can fall into reckless patterns like pornography misuse, detrimental sexual behavior, or drug and alcohol addictions.

When you’re coming out as gay, issues might include dealing with a hurt spouse or family, divorce, and fear of being alone. Shame and guilt are prevalent difficulties for the men I work with during their period of coming out as a gay man.

You’re okay as you are. Because you may have felt rejected by society and your family as a result of your sexuality, a lot of gay men have a hard time accepting themselves, which translates into other problems in their lives, especially in relationships.

Our work together accepts you and your struggles as they are, without any bias or agenda for you.

Religious indoctrination and dismissal of gay identities by nearly every religious institution, is a common barrier to coming out. These negative messages can hold you back in unexpected ways from becoming the person you want to be. Growing up in a strict religious setting, with devout parents or family members, frequently exacerbate many of the emotional issues you deal with to this day.

With a compassionate ally as your counselor, I will work to help you deal with the range of issues you may be struggling with.

Get The Support You Need

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As a LGBTQ-affirming therapist, I help clients accept themselves, even when others in their lives do not. As your counselor, I want to support you exactly where you are in your life. I work to create an open, comfortable, and productive counseling environment to explore your own feelings and goals. Unlike other therapies, I work with absolutely no presupposition that sexual orientation can or should be treated or changed.

In working with gay couples to create better, stronger and more supportive relationships for themselves, we’ll help you to enjoy better intimacy and, rather than falling into the same cycles of arguing and fighting, we’ll work through conflict patterns to find effective resolutions. You’ll feel more fulfilled and connected to your partner by learning how to talk, how to not withdraw from your partner or others, or attack or take out of anger or resentment .

If you or your partner are struggling with a substance abuse problem, we’ll consider the best decisions. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, we will explore how to deal with your partner and make clear relationship decisions about being with him.

You can heal after difficult relationship breakups, work through pain and grief associated with your relationship’s end, and learn healthy ways to deal before dating and getting back into a new relationship. You can also move past the fallout of your difficult relationship ending, and get back to feeling open to let love in. You might not be ready for dating yet, but counseling with me can help you work through old and lingering attachments to your former partner so that you can move along without continuing to hold on to a relationship after it’s over. We help you attract a better kind of partner for yourself as a result.

Or, maybe you want to learn how to be okay with being alone for a time, and want to work in counseling to feel more at peace with yourself. Dating is hard, and your relationship may have been harder, so it’s possible you don’t want to put yourself out there again. We’ll look at baggage you might be carrying from your old relationship, and consider how to work through those things in preparation for dating and meeting new people.

I’ve worked with gay men and couples for over 20 years, and have a lot of experience working with the gay community in Phoenix. I’ve helped many men create successful relationships, feel comfortable in their own skin, accept themselves for who they are, and find the happiness that they’re seeking.

“You’re not gay. How would know how to help me in my situation?”

Even though I’m not gay, I’ve worked with men and couples in gay therapy for a long time, and have a good understanding of the challenges that gay men and couples face. Many of my gay clients comment on how they feel as welcome and comfortable working with me as they would a gay therapist. I specialize in working with men and men’s issues.

As someone who grew up Jewish, I can relate to the feeling of being an outsider. It has allowed me to better understand and deal with mainstream thinking that I wasn’t a part of. It also helped me to reflect on myself compared to the “accepted” culture. I can better empathize with the gay experience as a result.

I truly enjoy helping gay men and couples find themselves and their happiness through better relationships, life success, and feel a connection to the gay community as a whole.

“I believe I’m in an unhealthy relationship for me, and attract the same kind of partner. Can counseling help with that?”

Yes, it can. Together, we will figure out what’s healthy for you, and what’s not, and help you to learn to trust yourself and your own sense of what’s going to work in your future. We’ll look at unhealthy relationship attachments, and work through them so you can gain clarity through better self-awareness and decide whether to stay or go in your current relationship. We’ll also work in gay therapy to identify the overall relationship patterns and factors that lead you to choosing the same unhealthy relationship partner over and over again. We’ll look at past issues, like growing up, and family factors, that might have to do with why you pick who you pick.

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“I feel unhappy in my life and my relationship, but am skeptical of counseling working for me.”

I understand. Gay men counseling can help you identify the causes and contributing factors to your unhappiness and relationship problems. Many men have successfully ended their treatment feeling happier and more positive about themselves and their relationship situation, whether they’re in a relationship or single. I help gay men with a number of issues, and would like to help you with yours.