Men and Failure
I spent 8 minutes talking about men and the experience of failure, and jotted some video notes down for you to follow and think about. How do you experience failure in your life? How has it affected you in the past? Your current life?
Video notes:
It’s o.k. to feel like a failure
Most men feel like a failure at something, whether it’s work, marriage, friendships, etc.
Men don’t want to feel like a failure, or powerless, because we pride ourselves on being a success and in control of ourselves, and our lives. It’s an unusual experience to be a failure, and one we want to run away from and push away
Getting past the cultural imperative of being an in control and successful man
You can be okay being vulnerable
It does promote relationship growth to be vulnerable
Stop posturing in the world to seem like you’re not a failure
It takes a lot of work to be phony and to maintain a facade with others
Feeling like a failure is different from being a failure
Usually, there is sadness or grief as emotions attached to the sense of failure
Being a failure is a label or a rejection of yourself
Fear of doing things because you’ll be a failure
Failure is comparing yourself to someone else’s standard, or your own
Can you give up the need to compare yourself to a standard, and let yourself do what you need to do anyways?
Dealing with the failure directly
Having intimate conversations with your intimate partner
Getting over the fear that she’ll reject you if you confess you feel like a failure.
If she does, it may not be the right relationship for you
If you’re interested in learning more about the Men’s counseling , or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our Men’s counseling page for detail.