Supporting Your Wife by Being a Mensch

I had never heard of Dave Goldberg until his well-publicized death last week, but I learned about him and the honorable sacrifices he made for his wife and her career.His wife, Sheryl Sandberg, is another tech titan in Silicon Valley (the COO of Facebook), and apparently, Mr. Goldberg made a lot of career decisions of his own with his wife's in mind. He prioritized her budding career and moved to the Bay Area for her to support her professional rise, and even supported their child when she was on crutches. Many say he was the model of modern feminism.To me, he embodied the "mensch" concept, a Yiddish meaning that he was "a person of integrity and honor."  Basically, the mensch is a good person, and a good man, and I think Dave Goldberg embodied these ideals in his approach to his wife and his marriage.I was moved by how he supported his wife's career aspirations, and did something about it.

He walked the talk, from what I've read. In her book, "Lean In," Ms. Sandberg says that the first good career choice of a woman is to pick the mate that will support that career.Career or not, I think men can support their wives a lot more, and show them that support in a number of ways. Whether their wife is a career woman, or a stay-at-home mom, it's important for men to recognize and communicate that support through validation, affection and appreciation in way that will be easily received.Emotional support could also be given, which is something that many women say is lacking in their marriage or relationship. Physical or domestic support - like washing dishes, taking care of the children, or giving your wife the night off of her responsibilities - is another impactful way to show your wife or girlfriend that support, as well.Men can put their wives' interests or passions on the same level as their own, which would mean seeing your wife as your equal or someone who is not subjugated to "women's tasks."

Men can see women as actualizing their potential the same way that they are, and with this honor and respect, can enjoy the benefits of a better relationship or marriage as equals.Giving that support to your wife or girlfriend pays dividends, in terms of you creating the kind of relationship you really want.

Whether verbally, emotionally, domestically, or otherwise, I think men can constantly challenge themselves to step up and give more support than they're currently giving.What about you? If you're in a relationship, are there ways you can step up the support for your spouse or partner? What's working, and what's not? Are you open to the feedback from her as to what she thinks?

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