Divorce Counseling
Divorce is a difficult life event.
Has your spouse told you they want a divorce? Are you facing divorce, thinking about it, or unsure if you want it or not?
Divorce is one of life’s hardest events and can negatively affect your confidence, finances, emotional and mental wellbeing, along with your relationships with friends and family. You might find yourself considering divorce, in the midst of a divorce, or coping with a recent divorce.
If you’ve been considering divorce, no one can tell you the right answer about what to do. Your friends may have undergone divorce, but their advice isn’t necessarily helping you make your own best decision for yourself. Confusion and mixed feelings abound.
Initially, considering divorce can be scary, especially if you’re thinking about the needs of children. Fear and other conflict avoidance can hold you back from making timely decisions for yourself and others in your life.
If your spouse has decided to seek a divorce, you might be dealing with normal feelings of shock, anger, sadness and rejection. If you’ve also been cheated on, you likely feel the double impact of the affair and the divorce.
If you’ve recently divorced, or were divorced some time ago and still carry the pain, you should consider divorce counseling. If you’re still holding onto your relationship or partner after they’ve moved on, you might be scared that you’ll never find another relationship again and may have baggage to work though before making yourself available to someone else.
Whether you are considering divorce, going through the divorce process, or trying to rebuild your life after a separation, we are here to help you.
Many people choose to divorce.
You’re not alone in your divorce situation. Many married couples experience feeling of disconnection that ultimately lead to divorce. Most couples aren’t taught to deal with relationship problems growing up, so they work with what they know.
When circumstances within a marriage have been difficult for some time, you may have found yourselves locked in the same fighting or conflict patterns over and over again, without any resolution. Many couples don’t want to continue to fighting, and they move on without counseling to avoid dealing with hard topics. This is common, and many couples don’t see that a marriage deteriorates over time as a result of this a communication breakdown. The situation can be difficult to recognize when the drift happens over a period of years as the problems quietly grow larger than the two of you.
Common reasons for divorce include:
Relationships turning into friendships, when lovers become more like roommates
Individual growth without communication
Having a baby, moving cities, accepting a new job, or other major stressful life events
Lack of emotional connection between partners
Cheating or other infidelity
As you go through the divorce process, you may experience a loss of confidence, rejection by your spouse or significant other, and feelings of failure. Blaming yourself is normal. Because divorce is an ending, you may experience grief and disillusionment. You may fear that you’ll be alone, or won’t be able to find another relationship partner again.
Most of what you may be feeling is normal and typical in a divorce situation. But unresolved emotional attachment to your marriage, spouse, or family may create lingering pain that prevents you from continuing in life as your best self.
There is hope you can get past this part of your life and be happy. With the help of a compassionate, experienced divorce therapist, you can get back to feeling happier and more in control of your future.
Divorce counseling helps you move forward.
I work to make the counseling experience a positive one for you. Maybe this is your first chance to share your side of the story without judgment or conflict. In the first session, we’ll meet and talk about the issues that you’ve sought counseling for, and identify your goals you’d like to achieve in the course of your counseling.
If you’re new to counseling, we’ll work through any fears or perceptions about therapy that may hold you back. I talk with you about your marital and personal history, and identify key blocks we might wish to consider as we identify your treatment goals
For example, you may have feelings from the past, about how you and your spouse used to be when things were working. Divorce therapy can help you accept how things have changed. Additional factors such as fear, the lives of your children, the loss of your family, or your own parents’ divorce might need to be worked through.
We work together to help you mediate the divorce and to approach it in a respectful way. If child custody or co-parenting issues confront you, we look at those together and help you figure out the best pathways forward in working with your former spouse.
I also help our clients work to undo the pain and damage inflicted by divorce and build a renewed sense of hope in the future — including faith that they can date and have a great relationship again. Many guys rediscover the pleasure of meeting new people without the weight of their marriage or divorce process. We can help you find the peace of mind you’re looking for and get you back to feeling the way you want to feel.
I use marriage counseling techniques such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gestalt Therapy. In EFT, we can look at conflict cycles, and from the Gestalt perspective, consider the here and now of issues as they arise.
Clients have described feeling much more balanced as a result of counseling with me. They say they are aware of what their shortcomings were or are, and how to proactively deal with their present and future situations.
My practice, Phoenix Men’s Counseling, is unique to meeting the needs of men. I understand men in relationships and, over 20 years, have helped dozens of men successfully move through the divorce process.
I work to validate your fears and concerns about the divorce, to help you feel less alone, to get you back on your feet, and to feel more in control of your personal divorce journey.
YOU MAY STILL HAVE QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS ABOUT DIVORCE COUNSELING.
“Divorce is expensive, and counseling might be too much for me right now with everything else going on.”
Yes, counseling can be costly. Consider that divorce is challenging and, as a result, you may feel overwhelmed with mental-emotional stress and unable to make the clearest, best decisions for yourself. Counseling is here to help you work through these inevitable difficulties so you can move through the divorce process with clarity and ease.
“What if my spouse or significant other doesn’t want to go to therapy. Can I come alone?”
Of course you can. You can’t control others, but you have control over your situation and how you want to deal with it. You can undertake significant individual growth work even if your significant other doesn’t want to get marriage counseling with you.
“I’ve tried therapy in the past, and it didn’t work for me. Why would this be better?”
There are many reasons for a lack of success in therapy. If the therapeutic relationship between client and therapist is not established early, that can stall progress. The counselor also may not have been the right fit for you. Perhaps you worked on developing coping skills without looking at the root causes of your behaviors and symptoms. I’d like to try to help you. I am glad you’re reconsidering counseling, with me as your therapist.
You can feel happy again.
I genuinely care about your situation and want to see you succeed, because you deserve to be happy again. If you’re ready to start divorce counseling, I invite you to contact us to schedule an intake appointment.
We’re conveniently located in midtown Phoenix, minutes off of the State Route 51 freeway for convenience.
Download our free e-book, The Guy’s Airbag, or contact us with your questions. We’re happy to help you make the right decision for you.
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