What Women Want Men to Know About Supporting Them
What do women want from men? It’s an age-old question and easier to answer then most people think. Ultimately, women want to feel supported and loved by their partners. Where most people struggle is determining what that support looks like. Below are a few things women want you to know about supporting them in a relationship, in handling the kids, and in their daily lives.
Supporting the Relationship
The best way you can support your relationship is by showing your girlfriend or wife that you love her. You can show that love in a variety of ways, but below are a few concrete examples you should actively work on.
Listen and hear what we have to say
When a woman is stressed, more often than not she just wants to vent about the situation and get the tension off her chest. Your role is to listen and empathize with her. Say things like, “Wow, I understand why you’re so upset about this. That would be really frustrating.” The fastest way to invalidate your wife’s feelings or to make her feel even worse is to brush it off her reaction or say “it’s not a big deal.”
Another big part of listening is following through on requests. Women hate to feel like they’re nagging and if they have to repeatedly ask you to help out with house chores or assist with the kids, there is going to be a problem. When a woman asks for your help and you don’t follow through it makes her feel unimportant. Don’t make her ask over and over again for your help. Just do it, and then keep doing it.
Show affection in small ways every day
You don’t always have to take your girl out on a date to show your affection. Small gestures of affection throughout the day are excellent ways to remind her that you love and support her. For instance, if she’s working from home and you’re walking by her office then pop in and give her a quick kiss on the cheek or bring her a coffee refill. Another option would be to pick up a towel as she’s washing the dishes at night and help with the task by drying everything. These thoughtful gestures are small, but they’ll mean a lot to the woman in your life.
Supporting the Kids Together
Taking care of the kids is traditionally considered the woman’s job. The times have changed, however, and women don’t stay at home with the kids as much anymore. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, nearly 70 percent of mothers with children under the age of 18 have a job. The responsibility of taking care of the kids now needs to fall on both the woman and the man. If you haven’t been pulling your fair share of the childcare weight, now is the time to step up.
Take the initiative with the kids
Don’t wait for your partner to become overwhelmed by the kids before stepping in to help. If you can see that your wife is struggling to get dinner ready while also trying to keep an eye on the children, then step in and help out. Take the kids to the living room for a movie or to play a game so she can have a moment to breathe and finish dinner. You’re both probably tired after a long day of work but make sure you’re still helping out with the kids.
Supporting your woman’s life
Women have dreams, ambitions, and desires just like any man. It’s important to recognize your partner’s goals as well as her regular needs. When you pay attention and notice these things, you’ll be able to offer your support and help her along the way.
Encourage her ambitions
Be supportive of your woman’s goals and ambitions. She doesn’t need to hear your doubts about her ability to be successful. If you tell her you aren’t confident in her ability to achieve her goals then you’ll just make her insecure. It’s OK to express concerns but make sure you’re willing and able to offer support whether she is successful or not.
Give her some alone time
Everyone needs a break every now and then. You might do happy hours after work with the guys on Thursdays. That’s your time, so make sure you’re giving your partner an opportunity to take time for herself as well. That might mean watching the kids for an hour so she can go to a yoga class or taking care of the more pressing household chores so she can relax and watch a show.
Ultimately, your partner just wants to feel like you care about her and support her needs. It doesn’t necessarily take a lot of effort but it does require some thought and attention. If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you love your wife or girlfriend and want to make her happy. Offering your support in all aspects of her life is an excellent way to make her happy and strengthen your relationship.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to effectively support your partner or if you’re wondering whether couples counseling could be right for you, please feel free to contact me or visit my marriage and couple’s counseling page.
