Understanding Toxic Masculinity: How Men's Counseling Can Help You Separate Myths from Reality
Do you find it difficult to open up about your feelings or ask for help when you're going through a tough time? Do you find it easier or more natural to become angry than to burst into tears? Are you afraid of being dependent on others? You might feel lonely and isolated, lack meaningful social interactions, or struggle to control your temper.
You are not alone, though. Due to toxic masculinity, many men consider vulnerability to be a sign of weakness and strive to avoid being perceived as weak in their relationships.
What Toxic Masculinity Is
Toxic masculinity refers to the cultural norms and expectations about male behavior that put extreme pressure on men. These societal expectations can be harmful to both men and society at large. Toxic masculinity norms can:
contribute to masculinity stereotypes
lead to the stigmatization of mental illness
prevent men from seeking help
encourage unhealthy behaviors
promote aggression.
Men's counseling can provide a safe environment to understand what toxic masculinity is and isn't and how you can recognize and address it.
Enforcement of Stereotypes
In Western cultures, we often see a strong emphasis on masculinity. During childhood, boys are taught what's expected of them and how they should behave, such as the expectation that men should be brave, challenging, and aggressive.
Emotional Suppression
Unfortunately, there's this common belief that men should always be strong and hide their emotions, which can make it difficult for men to talk about their problems and ask for help with their mental health.
Avoidance of Vulnerability
In many cultures, men have been taught from an early age that being vulnerable signals weakness and powerlessness, encouraging them to express only a narrow range of emotions, like happiness and anger. As a result, many guys tend to bury their feelings of sadness, grief, shame, insecurity, or fear deep inside them, never seeking support or professional help for their mental health concerns.
Promotion of Aggression
Toxic masculinity can leave men feeling lost once they become fathers. These men may struggle with defining their own masculinity and gravitate towards harmful stereotypes as substitutes for the guidance and healthy role models they lacked in childhood. These patterns can result in a mix of negative feelings, aggressive behavior, relationship issues, unhealthy family dynamics, and problems with mental health.
What Toxic Masculinity Isn't
Not all masculinity is toxic. It is important to understand that toxic masculinity refers to a cultural construct of specific harmful or oppressive beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, not masculinity itself. Masculinity doesn't have to be expressed through emotional suppression, aggression, or dominance. Men's counseling can help you learn how to get in touch with your authentic masculinity and express it in healthy and constructive ways.
How Our Culture Shapes Masculinity Stereotypes
Our families, schools, friends, social media, and the world around us all impact us in different ways as we grow and develop. The beliefs and points of view we pick up while growing up can stick with us and affect our mental health, relationships, sense of self-worth, and identity.
So, many men end up not knowing how to express their masculinity in a healthy way, feeling profoundly disconnected from this essential part of themselves.
How Social Media Exacerbates Toxic Masculinity?
Social media can amplify toxic masculinity. On these platforms, we often see photos, quotes, memes, and influencer advice targeted at men about what a "real" man should be, like reinforcing stereotypes and aggressive communication styles. For example, you may see thousands of posts showcasing physical strengths, risky adventures, material wealth, and dominance in relationships as signs of masculinity.
Also, and this goes for younger audiences in particular, influencers who show some signs of toxic masculinity can have a big effect, changing the way their followers think, whether by pushing an unrealistic body image or an aggressive and dominant lifestyle.
Finally, algorithms on social media create echo chambers that limit our exposure to content that aligns with our existing beliefs. Exposure to content that promotes toxic masculinity through a feedback loop can reinforce someone's views and strengthen their views of toxic masculinity.
How Can Men's Counseling Help Address Toxic Masculinity?
Working with a skilled men's counselor can help you break free from harmful male stereotypes and embrace your masculinity. Counseling can provide a secure setting in which to challenge harmful masculinity norms, improve self-reflection on your own attitudes and behaviors, and develop a better understanding of your own and others' emotions.
By engaging in counseling for men, you can ultimately develop the ability to embrace vulnerability, openly express your feelings, and cultivate a more authentic and healthier expression of your masculinity.
To find out more about our services, click here: men’s counseling.
