Are You Considering a Divorce After Quarantine?

The global pandemic is putting a strain on relationships all over the country right now. People are cooped up at home for extended periods of time and the health concerns are causing a lot of stress. Not only that, but financial instability is another worry a lot of couples are facing during this pandemic. 

Currently, about 30 percent of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. This number is expected to rise after the pandemic thanks to the emotional turmoil and additional stress caused by confinement and uncertainty. Spending more time together in quarantine has put added strain on many families, and some people are reaching their breaking point. 

The emotional toll of confinement

You’re not alone in your struggles with your partner right now. Couples everywhere are trying to adjust to working together at home, dealing with the kids all day, and limited time alone. Normally, people have multiple outlets to release their stress and frustrations throughout the day. Before, you had colleagues to distract you and give you time to cool down after fighting with your spouse. Another option would’ve been heading to the gym to burn off some anxiety and recenter for the evening.

Confinement has changed relationship dynamics and people are having a hard time adjusting. Humans are naturally social and we enjoy being able to go out with friends and attend events on a regular basis. Even heading out to the park for a hike is limited in some areas right now. Quarantine with your loved one may seem sweet in theory but, in reality, it usually results in taking your frustrations out on your partner.

If you’ve been experiencing troubles with your partner lately, below are a few suggestions for easing the tension and finding some common ground. 

Give each other some personal space

Space and alone time are two things couples are sorely lacking right now, especially if they have kids. Planning daily time blocks to be alone can be incredibly beneficial for your relationship and give you both the breather you need to calm down and relax. Set specific 30-minute to 1-hour time blocks where you each can do something on your own. This might be sitting in the backyard with a good book, going for a drive, calling a friend, or playing a video game. Whatever helps you destress during that time, do it. 

Show appreciation for one another

Tensions are probably high right now but taking the time to show each other a little appreciation can go a long way. Next time you’re at the grocery store, consider picking up a bouquet of flowers as a thoughtful gesture. Another option is to directly say “thank you” for all your partner has been doing lately. It’s likely there are a lot more household chores that need to be done with everyone staying at home all day. Show appreciation for the work your spouse has put in to clean the house or take care of the kids for the day.

Create a daily plan

If you’ve been really struggling to adjust to daily life in quarantine, then creating a daily plan might be beneficial. Sit down and have a discussion about what you each need during the day when it comes to work, childcare, and the house. Determine who will take on certain responsibilities and do your best to evenly divide tasks. At the end of the day, discuss what went well and what needs to be improved. Adjust your schedules and assignments to accommodate the changes. Bringing some routine back into your life can be really beneficial not only for you and your partner, but also for your children. 

Stop the fight

Confinement has made it easier than ever for arguments to spin out of control. A small irritation like dirty dishes can quickly escalate to arguing over chore distribution and then suddenly you’re fighting about how inconsiderate your partner is. Put a stop to these arguments before they get out of hand by removing yourself temporarily from the situation. If you feel like an argument is escalating for no reason, let your partner know that you need to go for a walk and cool down. You can discuss the issue when you’re back after you’ve both had a chance to calm down. 

Regularly allowing fights to be blown out of proportion is one reason why couples are struggling right now. They don’t know how to mitigate their frustration or relieve stress, so arguments are becoming more frequent and heated. 

If you and your partner have been experiencing problems during confinement and don’t know how to handle the changes, then speaking to a professional is what you need. Please check out my divorce counseling page to learn more about my services and ask any questions you might have about your relationship.