How to Support Yourself and Your Transgender Child

The majority of children identify as either boys or girls. From an early age, they learn to identify with either gender from their parents and other people around them. Young children do not understand what it means to be a girl or a boy. However, attitudes and expectations from their family and society teach young children to think of themselves in terms of a gender binary.

Gender, though, does not exist in these binary terms but on a spectrum. As a result, many children have a gender identity that differs from the gender assigned at birth.

Your transgender child may feel like a male or female, a combination of both, somewhere in between, or like they have no gender. Your child's gender identity develops over time as they grow and develop.

Unfortunately, transgender youth face stigma and discrimination from an early age. They are often the victims of bullying and rejection. So, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and self-esteem issues are common among trans and LGBTQ+ youth. Also, studies show that young transgender people have higher rates of self-harm and suicidality.

Because gender identity is vital to how we see ourselves and interact with others, family support is essential for trans children and teens.

How to Support Your Child

Even though LGBTQ+ parents may be more accepting of their transgender children than heterosexual parents, LGBTQ+ families may face additional problems in their communities, such as bullying or discrimination.

These challenges are sometimes too significant to handle on your own. So, here are some suggestions to help you support your child and assist them in dealing with pressure.

Show Unconditional Love for Your Child

It is crucial that you provide your child with compassion and unconditional love in order for them to feel secure, cared for, and loved.

Allow for Free and Open Communication

Discuss gender identity and sexual orientation with your child openly and appropriately for their age and maturity level. Maintain an interest in their lives and stay connected to their world. Prepare your child to respond to inquiries about their gender identity and family history. The more you talk with your child, the more they will feel trusting and at ease.

Help Your Child Create a Support Network

Being a loving, supportive parent to your transgender child is wonderful. However, you can also encourage them to meet other trans kids and connect with LGBTQ organizations, resources, and support groups in your community or online. A strong support system will help your child understand they are not alone.

Watch for Mental Health Red Flags

Keep an eye out for warning signs of mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, eating disorders, or self-harm. In addition, many transgender kids and adolescents feel insecure and confused, so they may experience emotional problems if they don't feel supported.

Studies show that suicide attempts in adolescence are frequently linked to gender and sexuality issues. So, encourage your child to seek counseling if they struggle with gender concerns. 

Consider Gender-Affirmative Care

Gender affirmative care is a type of supportive healthcare that involves a range of services for transgender and nonbinary people, such as medical, mental health, and surgical services.

Nonbinary kids and teens need early gender-affirming care to protect their mental health and well-being.

Keep Their School Involved

Since children spend a great deal of time at school, ensuring they feel safe is essential.

Keep an eye out for signs of bullying and notify your child's teacher or school administrator right away if you notice any. Transgender children are frequently targeted because they are different. Some signs that your child may be a victim of school bullying include:

  • Behavior changes (avoids school, withdraws from friends and family, etc.)

  • Declining grades

  • Low self-esteem

  • Unusual engagement in risk behaviors such as drug use

  • Behavioral problems at school

  • Changes in mood

  • Avoiding school and other activities

  • Mental health problems

Keep in touch with your child's teachers on a regular basis so that you are aware of any issues that may arise.

Even though you cannot entirely shield your child from discrimination, you can help them feel safe and protected in their home. Strong emotional and social support from their family can improve your child's resilience, mental health, and well-being.

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