Contemplating Your Relationship: Are You Ready to Leave?

Most of us see the beginning of a new year as a great time to start fresh. Perhaps the holidays have motivated you to contemplate changing your life. Or maybe you're just unsure if you want to commit to your relationship any longer.

Deciding whether to end your relationship or separate from your partner is difficult. If you have been together for a long period, have children together, care for aging parents together, or are experiencing financial troubles, making a change may be considerably more difficult.

Many couples find themselves in a scenario where their needs and expectations don't match. For example, when one partner wants to get a divorce while the other wishes to stay married, this situation may be highly unpleasant and hurtful for all parties concerned.

You don't have to ask your partner's permission to end your marriage. But you also don't want to go through a horrible breakup. Consider some warning signs that it might be time to part ways.

You Keep Breaking Up/Constantly Fighting

Conflicts are not always destructive. On the contrary, they help us learn and provide opportunities to strengthen our relationships. However, if you don't know how to get back together and repair after a fight and are constantly feeling resentful, angry, and unhappy, it might be time to call it quits.

Trust Has Been Breached

It could be incredibly difficult to stay committed if you no longer trust your spouse. Some of the most common reasons why couples break up or go to couples counseling are infidelity and broken trust.

While exceptionally difficult, healing after a breach of trust is possible. First, however, you must decide if you want it.

The Intimacy Has Vanished

When the intimacy is no longer there, you may feel like you live with a roommate. While certainly not the only one, sex is a big part of our relationships. The absence of sexual intimacy is closely related to a lack of emotional closeness. This may soon create a strong platform for a divorce as it typically leaves both couples feeling insecure, detached, and unhappy.

Background Differences

Cultural differences between the couple are another common reason for a breakup or divorce.

Frequently, the habits we learn from our families of origin make it difficult for us to get along with our partners. So, in order to grow as individuals and be happy in our adult relationships, we have to relearn and change these patterns.

Different Expectations

Some people get into a relationship or marriage with unrealistically high or simply different expectations. So, you may always feel frustrated and unhappy because your partner doesn't meet your needs.

However, if you're having second thoughts about being married, consider a few things before making a decision.

Do You and Your Partner Love but Dislike Each Other?

You may feel disconnected, misheard, and overwhelmed by constant arguments and misunderstandings. Although you still love each other, you're at a loss as to how to rediscover the spark that first attracted you to one another.

No matter how well you get along, you will never be able to agree on everything. If you're having trouble communicating with your partner or feel there's no way out of your situation, a marriage counselor may assist.

Couples counseling can assist you in recognizing and changing negative patterns in your relationships.

Is Your Marriage Contemplation Real or Reactive?

Do you really want to be divorced, or are you just reacting to pressure from others or your daily life?

Maybe you are planning to have children or expecting a baby and feel anxious because the attempts to stay in control and make everything go as smoothly as possible are so overwhelming.

Or, you may feel stressed about your profession, daily tasks, childcare, and financial burden.

Also, spending time with your family during the holidays can be challenging because it can bring up old wounds and concerns that haven't been addressed.

Meeting your ex-partner may have also prompted you to think about what your life may have been like if you had made different choices, or it may have inspired you to seek new alternatives.

Also, it's possible that reconnecting with old friends has given you a new perspective on your current situation.

So, try to consider your true reasons for feeling this way. Consider if your desire to leave is genuine or influenced by outside factors.

If you are sure that ending your relationship or marriage is the right thing, you can still go to couples counseling to help you part ways on a friendly note.

To find out more about our services, click here: marriage counseling.