Alcohol and Relationship Fighting
You're in a fight with your spouse, you both decide that you're not going to talk about it, and you carry on with a night on the town. Several drinks and hours later, you find yourself in the middle of a knock-down, drag-out fight, and things just go from bad to worse.Have you found yourself in this scenario in the recent past? I work with couples, and I can't tell you how often I hear this, especially from younger couples who still maintain an active social (read: drinking) life together.If there's copious amounts of alcohol drank, and there's underlying tension between you and yours, it's inevitably going to come roaring up and probably make everything worse.
Alcohol and relationship fighting do not mix, to be completely obvious, yet it doesn't stop couples from getting into this downward spiral with each other.Alcohol initially works for one or more persons in the relationship, especially for those men who tend to not be emotionally expressive and communicative within the relationship while sober. Alcohol "takes the lid off" and allows some guys (and women) to be completely free and unencumbered, and for those people that usually stuff their problems with their partner, alcohol has that way of promoting LLS, or "loose-lipped syndrome." It lets us say what we want, and takes the filter off between thought and expression.The problems in the relationship, however, are rarely worked through, even after the alcohol-infused night of conflict.
People I've worked with seem to go back to not talking and not addressing the issues, which are gradually getting worse with each night out of drinking, not to mention additional incidents that come up that aren't working through either.We say things we don't mean, under the influence, and act in ways we don't mean to act. These leave scars or impressions on your partner that are sure to stay there unresolved.If alcohol is a continual problem in your relationship, you should consider taking out that element from your relationship, or at least not put yourself in situations where you're both getting drunk together. Going out with other friends for the entire evening may not provide you with as much restraint as going out to dinner or staying home and enjoying a beer or glass of wine or two. You don't have to abstain together, you just have to find a more practical approach to working on it together.
Couples counseling would benefit your relationship, and you and your partner would be working on the underlying issues that fuel the alcohol-induced conflicts.Getting the right help would mean that you might not have repressed feelings towards your partner, and then when you do drink, it might not get as out of control if you've both consciously worked on your issues in a sober setting, such as marriage or couples counseling.
Dollar for dollar, your investment in marriage or couples counseling is probably going to pay off in the long run more than the cash you're blowing at the bar or club on alcohol. Sure, they're apples and oranges, but the fact that you care about your partner and your relationship, and you want to help turn it around will make you feel good about yourself, and make your partner feel good about you.
If you’re interested in learning more about the Couple and Marriage counseling , or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our couple counseling page for detail.
