The Factors that Lead to Divorce

Like anything worthwhile in life, a marriage needs effort, dedication, and hard work. Recognizing signals that your marriage is in trouble can be a wake-up call.

So, here are some of the common factors that lead to divorce or separation.

Trust Erosion

Trust issues are one of the most common factors that lead to divorce. A breakdown of trust caused by infidelity can be particularly difficult to overcome and recover from. If you can't trust one other, your relationship may deteriorate greatly, leading to divorce.

Also, other things can cause trust erosion in a relationship that might result in divorce. Lies, manipulation, failure to follow your promises or a lack of commitment can all lead to a loss of trust, undermining your connection.

Lack of Commitment

Not being open about your expectations at the beginning of a relationship can result in a lack of commitment, causing disappointment, disconnection, and resentment and leading to a relationship breakup.

People can have commitment anxiety regardless of their gender or sex. You might struggle with self-esteem issues, the fear of failure, or Peter Pan syndrome, making it difficult to commit.

Lack of commitment in a relationship can make it hard to make decisions, take responsibility, plan for the future, and deal with relationship problems in a healthy way.

You might become increasingly distant and emotionally unavailable even though you love your partner.

Conflicts and Neglect

Marriage problems don't happen overnight. Most of the time, they accumulate gradually. Unfortunately, many couples put off seeking marriage counseling for far too long.

Even though disagreements are expected in a partnership, sometimes they can get too big for two people to handle on their own.

According to Dr. John Gottman, a relationship and marriage specialist, couples in crisis wait an average of six years before seeking couples counseling, allowing their problems to worsen by the time they go to marriage therapy.

Roommate Relationship

Many couples lack a foundation for connection that extends beyond children, everyday routine, and household responsibilities. As a result, a relationship can grow stale, passionless, and emotionally distant over time.

Sometimes a relationship that used to be full of passion and love turns into just sharing space. Everything may appear fine from the outside, so most people don't realize immediately that their relationship has changed.

For instance, many things can still go well between you and your spouse. You may have a few disagreements and still be able to work as a team.

Your intuition, however, may tell you that your once passionate relationship is devolving into a roommate marriage with little interest in one another. As a result, you may feel lonely in your marriage, unsure of what is wrong or how to restore the connection (or even whether you want to restore it or not).

The Challenges of Becoming Parents

According to a Gottman Institute study, most marriage separations during the first seven years resulted from the couple's having children.

Dr. Gottman's study findings show that 67 percent of couples experience a fall in marriage satisfaction following the birth of their first child.

The shift in responsibilities, priorities, and self-concepts that occurs with a child's birth may impact your emotions, identity, and mental health. This may be a difficult and stressful transition from being a couple to becoming a family.

For instance, you may feel alone and rejected, lose your identity as a couple, and find it hard to stay close.

Intimacy Issues

Incompatible sex desires and a lack of connection may significantly impact a relationship, causing emotional distance and disconnection.

When it comes to sex and intimacy, it's natural to have diverse desires and requirements. Some people, for example, don't know how to be emotionally connected to their spouse without sex, putting a lot of strain on it.

Also, couples can sincerely love one another and get along well while still having a dissatisfying sex life.

Different people have different sex and intimacy needs and that is normal. However, a failure to address your intimacy issues can create different expectations, poor communication, distance, bitterness, and disappointment.

Talking about your views on sex without criticizing, judging, or blaming each other could help you find common ground to meet each other's needs.

Couples counseling can be a safe place to determine if your marriage is worth saving and if it can be fixed or ended in a way that doesn't hurt your self-esteem or well-being.

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