Many people believe that having a monogamous relationship is too complicated or unnatural. They find it impossible to have a relationship or sex with only one person for an unlimited period of time. If you are one of these people, you should think about having an open relationship.

And They Lived Happily Ever After

However, our society stigmatizes open relationships, teaching us from a young age that we should only commit to one person at a time and eventually stay in one relationship for the rest of our lives. Even fairytales and children's stories have taught us from the earliest age that the goal is to choose one person for good. And so, we do it.

But statistics reveal that 20% of married couples and 70% of unmarried couples in the United States experience infidelity. According to studies, men cheat more than women – 20% of men and 13% of women admit to being unfaithful to their partners. However, some argue that women do not cheat less; they might simply get away with it more often.

Whatever the case might be, affairs hurt people, wreaking havoc on their mental health, well-being, and relationships. So, why do we choose to stick to monogamous relationships but cheat on our partners?

Perhaps this is why an increasing number of people are seeking open relationships. According to studies, 4 to 5% of relationships in the United States are non-monogamous.

Research also shows that Millennials are more open to polyamory and other non-monogamous arrangements than Generation Z, Generation X, or Baby Boomers.

What Is an Open Relationship?

Open relationships are consensually non-monogamous. These are committed relationships in which partners actively agree to have other romantic and/or sexual partners while keeping their relationship the priority.

An open relationship can look different from one couple to another. For example, while some couples choose to have separate lovers, others engage with several sexual partners or various loving relationships. Whatever your preference, an open relationship is founded on honesty regarding non-exclusivity.

Lasting emotional and sexual exclusivity simply doesn't work for some people. While many monogamous individuals strive to make it work, they end up cheating and harming themselves, their spouses, children, and other people. So, if you're thinking about an open relationship, here's what you need to consider.

When a Partner Requests an Open Relationship

Your partner may ask you to consent to a relationship without the sense of ownership that is often associated with traditional, monogamous partnerships. If you are open to enjoying variety and polyamory, this may come as a welcome relief. However, if you are uncomfortable with being in an open relationship, express it clearly.

Honesty is a cornerstone of open relationships (and every other healthy relationship). So, let your spouse know whether such an arrangement would work for you and how you feel about their proposal.

Setting Boundaries

So, suppose you decide to have a non-monogamous relationship. In that case, you should think about setting rules and limits because they keep everyone emotionally safe.

By talking about and setting rules, you and your partner can make sure that the presence of other lovers doesn't change how you feel about each other or how committed you are to the relationship.

Agree on a set of rules and boundaries that both of you are comfortable with. Be transparent about your emotions and let your partner know if you feel hurt or uncomfortable.

You must establish the rules and emotional boundaries that will protect you and your partner and the other individuals involved, so make sure you get their consent.

For example, some couples set rules regarding falling in love with other people, dating people they both know, friending lovers on social media, etc. See what works best for you and discuss it openly.

You need to check in with your partner often to talk about your experiences, worries, hopes, and any limits that need to be set.

Dealing with Jealousy

It is a common misconception that jealousy does not exist in open relationships. People in non-monogamous relationships are jealous too. However, the feeling of insecurity is a major source of jealousy in most relationships. So, maintaining honesty and sticking to agreed-upon standards and boundaries is vital.

Explore How You Feel About It

Reflect on your thoughts and feelings about having an open relationship. Is this something you've always wanted to try? Do you fear what other people will say? Perhaps this is the only thing keeping you from having open relationships.

Some people feel it is feasible to have it all. In contrast, others believe that we need to make some compromises in life and commit to monogamous relationships. So, decide what you want, and don't be afraid to follow your heart.

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