I've had a number of clients come in this week who have acted on gut instinct, and have been validated by checking their partner's phones for cheating.I understand acting on a hunch, but I think the act of checking your partner's phone, email, text, etc. has the effect of contributing to the already compromised trust breach in your relationship. I'm not saying that I wouldn't also want to know what my spouse was up to if something wasn't sitting right, but I think the harder way to deal with it is ultimately the right way: to actually try to work through the distrust issues together.

Yes, you might be validated if you break into their devices to find what you're looking for, but it just sets up this cat-and-mouse game between you and your potentially-cheating partner. It would have the effect of your mate wanting to hide more of what they might be hiding, and they may become defiant against you because you're spying on them.Again, ideally speaking, you are your mate could seek out professional couples counseling to deal head on with the issues, instead of making them worse.The need to get the information becomes so great, that it takes over everything, like an obsession.

I think there is something to dealing with your own pain, rather than acting on it. You are probably flooded with feelings, like hurt, grief, sadness and anger, and dealing head on with those emotions will create better results than going on a potentially-neverending hunt for the facts of the infidelity. If you’re interested in learning more about the Infidelity counseling , or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our Infidelity counseling page for detail.