Are you ready for divorce? Have you really considered it, or is it an emotional reaction to a troubling situation with your spouse/partner. Here are 7 questions to ask yourself if you're considering divorce:

1. Do you know why you want to divorce? Have you considered counseling to help you work through your issues to get to an "absolutely clear" place, so you don't do anything with regret?

2. Do you want a divorce as a reactive measure, or it something you have been contemplating for some time? Have you discussed it with your spouse at length, and are they in agreement?

3. Are you really wanting a divorce, or have you withdrawn so much emotionally from your marriage because your needs aren’t getting met?

   1. Sometimes, spouses get pushed to the edge out of frustration or exhaustion about continually not getting their needs met from their spouse, that they feel like they have no other option than to divorce.

   2. A lot of times, due to fear or not wanting to hurt our spouse’s feelings, we don’t talk with them about our negative feelings concerning our marriage, which leaves things to fester and pile up internally within us, leading us to take drastic measures like separation or divorce.

4. Are you doing it for the children, or for yourself?

   1. Some people stay in marriages that don’t work for them because they’re “doing it for the children.” This, ultimately, is a recipe for disaster.

5. Have you considered marriage counseling? Are both people interested in it?

   1. Would you be willing to look at the marital problems that you have contributed to in therapy?

   2. Would you both be on board with getting counseling help?

   3. Are you able to take "ownership" or responsibility for your part in the problems in the marriage?

6. Are you aware of all of the implications to divorce?

   1. Have you consulted a divorce attorney?

   2. Have you considered the negative emotions you’ll have to deal with, including possible grief of your marriage as an end?

   3. Have you considered the financial toll and implications to ending your marriage?

   4. There are lots of other experiences with divorce, like fear of being alone, having to look at our failures in our marriage, dealing with family and friends, and learning to take care of ourselves through the process.

      1. Sleeping

      2. Eating

      3. Counseling

      4. Getting support from friends and family

      5. Trusting what you want and not what others want for you

7. Can you go through the divorce process without anger or vengeance?

   1. It may require that you seek out professional counseling to deal with the emotional implications that are sure to arise during this process. Ideally, this is preferred, as divorce with animosity could only make things quite worse.

These 7 questions are just the beginning of the questions. There are others, and probably some you haven't encountered yet, but it's important to consider all the implications of divorce or any major life transition. If you’re interested in learning more about the Divorce counseling , or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our divorce counseling page for detail.