I’ve been thinking a lot about what is takes to be a good man. I think there are plenty of answers out there: from media and culture, to our own preconceptions of what it means to be a man. But what if we truly listened to ourselves and came up with our own answers?I’ve decided to put together a men’s self-assessment, and included five areas of life that I think are key to developing oneself as a man. Take a couples of minutes out on a break to consider your answers to these life areas.

• Living Your Values

  • Do you live by what you believe in? How so?

  • Is there a difference between what you believe in and how you practice your life? If yes,

• Being Genuine/Authentic

  • Are you truly open and honest about your thoughts, feelings and behaviors to those close to you? If not, how do you prevent or inhibit yourself?

  • Are you generally being true with yourself? If not, how are you untrue to yourself?

• Taking Responsibility

  • Do you find yourself playing the ‘victim’ to others, or life in general? How?

  • Is it hard to “own” your stuff, even if it’s negative, paints you in a negative light, or tarnishes your facade? Why?

• Practicing Self-Respect

  • Do you practice regular self care, such as exercise, good nutrition, stress management? If not, what gets in your way?

  • Can you keep healthy boundaries with others (i.e. be firm with others by saying ‘no’, not compromising your values, etc.). If not, how are you flexible on your boundaries with others?

  • Do you criticize or judge yourself too harshly? What do you get out of this, if you do?

• Navigating Life Balance

  • How does your life tip out of balance? What are your “traps” to fall out of balance (i.e. work, kids, etc.)

  • Would others in your life consider you to be balanced in your life? What would they say?

  • What is one area of your life that begs for your attention, in needing more balance? What is one thing you can do to feed that unattended part of your life?

What answers did you come up with? Were you surprised by any of your answers? It’s hard to take an honest look at ourselves, when life commands our attention, or when our perception of ourselves is filtered through other people.If you came up with more questions, let those be the starting point to develop your next answers. How can you develop an action plan to be able to improve some of these life areas for yourself? Will it take time, money, energy, other people - what resources will you need to seek out to help you in developing these things?Taking an honest look at ourselves takes some courage, especially if we’re not in the habit of doing so. Try to make small but incremental changes in developing your awareness. You can’t change what you’re not aware of, so stay open and get others feedback if you choose. All the luck and support to you. If you’re interested in learning more about the Men’s counseling , or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our Men’s counseling page for detail.