Jealousy and insecurity go hand-in-hand: when were feeling insecure about ourselves, it usually is expressed in the form of jealousy about our partner. We may fantasize that they are cheating on us, not in love with us, or seeking out affirmation or attention from other people. In fact, we may go to great lengths to legitimize those irrational concerns, by checking phones, e-mail accounts or the like. But, the bottom line is, we have to learn how to take responsibility for our own fears and insecurities, and open up to them to be able to forge a deeper connection with our partner.How can we deal more effectively with jealousy in our relationship? Here's some ideas to consider:

1. Take responsibility for our own fear and insecurity, as well as anger

2. Identify points in the past where our relationships have burned us, and where we are currently stuck in the mud.

3. Communicate with your partner about some of your deeper fears about losing them, having them leave us, finding another mate that might be "superior" to us in some way

4. Understand that all men deal with this, and most guys struggle with this in one way or another.

5. Realize that your partner has a will of her own, and that if there are problems in your relationship or marriage, it's her responsibility to come to you with those problems and not cheat on you.

Jealousy is as old as human existence. We fear "mate poaching," or someone coming in and swooping up our partner. Aside from the evolutionary function of this fear, this type of thinking is irrational and can distance ourselves from the ones we truly love and want to be close to. If you’re interested in learning more about the Marriage and couples counseling , or if counseling might be right for you, please feel free to contact me directly or visit our marriage couples counseling.