Counseling for Nice Guys. Do you worry you might be too much of a “nice guy”?

You know, the kind of guy too busy pleasing everyone else, and trying to find happiness by spending too much time trying to get others to like them.

At Phoenix Men’s Counseling, I offer psychotherapy for guys that are too nice for their own good. As a psychotherapist and counselor, I’ve helped many men overcome their “nice guy” persona and have happier and healthier relationships as a result.

“Nice guys” are people pleasers that have trouble saying “no” to other people, especially to women they’re interested in.

Most people love a “nice guy.”

At least until they get what they want ...

A nice guy is the “guy-who’ll-give-you-the-shirt-off-his-back,” kind of guy. Nice guys work harder for others than for themselves, to their own detriment, and stuff their own needs or push them aside to meet others’ needs.

Men who are nice guys fall into trying to rescue the women they date or marry, so as to feel important and wanted by them.

They often support women too much financially, bend over backwards for them, put themselves in situations that they don’t really want to be in, and generally work much harder than their mate in relationship.

Usually, nice guys end up feeling frustrated, angry or resentful as people take advantage of them.

Does the above sound familiar to you?

People-pleasers often end up in relationships that aren’t good for them. They become satellites “orbiting” cold, withdrawn or unavailable women, and end up getting used because they can’t set healthy boundaries and say “no.”

Signs That You May Benefit from “Nice Guy” Counseling:

If you’re a man who can relate to any of the following, as a counselor, I may be able to help:

Some nice guys believe that they’re unlovable at their core, and end up attracting women who communicate that “unlovability” back to them.

In reality, it’s not the case that you are unlovable.

You may just need to be needed by others, usually by women. This results in getting caught in an unhealthy relationship pattern - sometimes getting into one people-pleasing relationship with women after the other.

This is the “knight in shining armor” syndrome.

Nice guys want to be recognized as the special guys that saved their maiden from distress. What happens, in reality, is that these women aren’t often truly available, and nice guys have wasted valuable time, money, energy, confidence and happiness in the pursuit of trying.

Benefits to Nice Guy Counseling

Wouldn’t it Nice to be “Likeable” and Still Get Your Needs Met?

I know how to help nice guys, because I’m a recovering one myself.

Believe me, I’ve been there. I understand how it is to have pushed my own needs aside, and succumb to the pressures of others’ needs, to try to be loved by everybody.

I can tell you this: being a nice guy doesn’t work.

I don’t want this to keep happening for you, and I’d like to become your psychotherapist so I can help.

I love the process of seeing nice guys make the changes in their lives, and to stop feeling like they have to please others first to get their needs met.

My counseling specialty is working with nice guys just like you. Through therapy, I have helped many men stand up for themselves, become more assertive, and end people pleasing behaviors for good. They’ve broken the pattern of people-pleasing relationships, and started looking for healthier ones.

Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC, Counselor for Men

If any of this describes you, you might be a nice guy. You, too, can break the cycle of people pleasing, and create the kind of relationships you really want for yourself.