The qualities that make us the men that we are are largely attributable to the relationships that we have with our fathers. We take on mannerisms, traits, quirks, behaviors and emotions. Our intimate relationships, in many ways, are also results of our relationships with our fathers.

Too many men have difficulties being the fathers that they should be to their sons. Many times, they never got the right role modeling from their parents. Without the right tools, or no tools at all, problems get created. Men go on to have imperfect relationships, and don’t know how to be effective intimate partners to their wives and girlfriends.

First, men learn from their fathers how to be emotionally withdrawn from their women. They learn from the environment they grew up in at home, over time, to shut down, stay in their heads and generally not be present to their feelings. This is the nucleus of the problem. Men have learned a lot of negative coping skills to gets their needs and feelings met, and sometimes that comes out as anger, rage, substance abuse, violence, criticizing or judging, or just avoiding and withdrawing altogether from their women.

Second, as children we model behavioral patterns from our parents. As boys, we model the ways of being in a relationship from our fathers (and mothers). Many times, our fathers never got it right, so we simply take from them what we see, because unconsciously, if we do what they did, we just might get our needs met after all.

This is child’s logic, and somewhere down the road, we fail to drop those tools when they don’t work for us anymore. As kids, they might have had some basic effectiveness, but now they just don’t work anymore.

The key is to understand and deal with these negative behavioral patterns, and the emotions that we avoid buried underneath. In seeing these, often for the first time, and experiencing them in the present moment unconditionally, they begin to transform themselves and set us free from the patterns that keep us stuck in conflict and unsatisfying relationships.

We can work towards freedom from these problems if we can first see them. Our fathers might not have been able to do it for themselves, but we can for ourselves. We can change those relationships by digging deeper, so we don’t have to create those same relationships for ourselves, and so the problems don’t get handed down the generations again.

In honor of an early Father’s Day, here are some parenting strategies that you can use to right now to give your child a real gift back. Parenting is a real struggle for some men, and a lot of guys that I talk with feel like they’re not giving their kid everything that I can, or aren’t there for their child as much as they’d like to.

There are plenty of distractions, from keeping a demanding work schedule, domestic responsibilities, and a happy marriage. We want the very best for our kids, and want to give them more, but sometimes don’t know exactly how to do that.

To make matters worse, sometimes our kids elicit those negative parts of ourselves that we don’t really like, which make it all the more confusing and frustrating to know how to “do it right.” We think we’re doing the best job we can, but it doesn’t always feel that way.

Here are five strategies to be a better dad that you can use now, to improve the relationships with your kids:

• Keep your anger in check: Most frustrated guys that I talk with say that their kids are too well versed in pushing their buttons and getting deep under their skin. For men, it’s easy to get frustrated and explode, or take it out on their kids. Learning how to divert your frustration and anger, so as to not bring it down on your kids, is really important to building a better relationship with them. If we’re already angry about the numerous life stressors that affect our lives, it’s sure to be made worse when our kids upset us. Kids will internalize your anger, and translate it to mean that it’s something wrong about them, or how they aren’t “good enough” for you. Try to practice using a soft tone, and communicate with your kids with your feelings, whether you’re frustrated, concerned, afraid that they’ll hurt themselves, or whatever. Watch this short video on “Supereasy Anger Management Tips” I shot a while back to help cool some of the anger you might be putting on your kids.
• Use natural and logical consequences: Teaching your children to experience the natural or logical consequences of their actions is one way that you can help promote acceptance of responsibility. The idea here is that there are real-world consequences for certain behaviors, and allowing your child to experience them on their own, without parental intervention, is one approach to helping children learn from their own actions and behaviors. Here’s more information on using natural and logical conquences with your child.
• Be consistent with your spouse on parenting: A lot of times, spouses are not on the same page about how to parent their children together. With this inconsistency, kids often seek out the cracks in parenting, and go to more permissible parent to get what they want.This sets up a problematic family system and bad family dynamics, and it’s then one parent against the other. Your kid ends up fueling further marital tension. Get on the same page with your wife or girlfriend, and create a parenting alliance so there’s no misunderstandings between anyone in your family. Decide early on how you will parent your child around the issues that matter most, whether that’s on homework, eating, sleep times or other areas of life that will inevitably come up.
• Validate and affirm your kid: Your son or daughter wants to know that you care about them, and that they feel special to you. Too often, we either inadvertently criticize or judge our kids, even when we’re not meaning to, or are so busy that we don’t attend to our kids. Overparenting, or underparenting, can have negative effects on your son or daughter. Kids need to feel that you care, and that they are worthwhile to you. Make regular time with your kids, but make the time focus on making your kid feel good. Really practice the “quality” in qaulity time. Validate their efforts in school or play, and tell them things that make them feel loved and cared for by you. For some men, this is really hard if they didn’t get it from their parents growing up, but it’s super important so that your kid grows up feeling good about themselves, and has high self-esteem and competency.
• Watch how you overcompensate from your own childhood: Problems we experienced as kids, growing up in our own family of origin, usually leave deep impressions on us subconsciously. The dads that I talk with have some awareness about the effects those problems have on them. Most times, they overcompensate with their own kids, which is to say that they do the opposite of what they received as kids. For example, if they were neglected and invisible as kids, they will make it a point to work to extremely (if not too) hard to make their own children feel visible and important. This can create its own set of problems. If you’re not resolved around your own childhood issues, they’re probably spilling out onto your own parenting and onto your kids.

I hope these parenting tips help. If you’ve got other suggestions that work, leave them in the comments.

There’s no greater saboteur than ourselves. Others may make life difficult for us, but it’s often ourselves that hinder our own selves from getting what we want in life. From getting the right job, to improving the relationship we’ve got, we constantly undermine ourselves and impede our forward progress into getting our needs met.

1. Fear: often times, fear is a more powerful motivator than anything else. When we’re afraid, of either failure or of success, we devise strategies to get in our own way. For example, a lot of guys need affirmation or validation from their wives or girlfriends, yet are too afraid to speak up and get it. They turn to other women outside of the relationship where it’ll be safer to get affirmed or validated, thus eventually undermining their existing relationship when the other partner find out.
2. Stress: Stress management is a difficult thing to employ. We’re busy people living busy lives. Too often, getting the right sleep, eating right or just generally taking good care of ourselves get sidelined. When we’re stressed, our tolerance thresholds are lower, and we’re more immune to poor mental health, anger, interpersonal conflict and physical ailment. Maintaining your well being and keeping stress under control are essential to not undermining yourself. Keeping a positive outlook and good mental health are ways you can promote yourself, and not get in your own way.
3. Making the Wrong Choices: Either out of impulsivity, or just making decisions that aren’t in alignment with our long term goals and life vision, making poor choices undermines our forward progress. Taking a job because it pays better, but may not provide the kind of work you love, could eventually pan out to be a poor choice. Keeping friends who use you instead of give to you may be another. Making clear, solid decisions is based on what you value for your life: do you value your work to be personally meaningful? Do you value mutually giving and reciprocal relationships?
4. Not finding resources or support: The world is interconnected, and there are things you can’t do alone. If you’re impartial to asking for help from others, it may be hurting you. Everyone needs help. Whether you need to find better ways to network with others for professional purposes, need counseling for a personal problem, or want to start dating again and need some help, asking for help is
5. Worrying about what others think: I recently shot a two minute video about how to stop worrying about what others think. When we fall into this kind of thinking, we give other people power over our lives and decisions. I think when we worry about what others think, our mental energies are distracted, when they could be used to help us help ourselves instead. Worry a little less about what others think, and you might find you have available energy to improve your own life.
6. Falling into acts of anger: Anger in and of itself is not harmful – it’s what you do with it that creates problems. Usually, we fall into anger and end up reacting, whether it’s alienating friends or family, or getting angry on the job, anger is a force that, if left uncontrolled, can leave us undermining our own chances of success. It’s a huge impediment to good relationship building. Learning how to deal most effectively with anger, and learning how to harness it, communicate it and make it work for you is no easy task, but it’s something that could go go from a liability to an asset in your life if you know how to use anger effectively.

The end of the year is a great time to step back from the whirlwind of work, home and life expectations, and take a keen look at how the year went.

What I like to do at the end of the year is sit down and reflect on 7 life domains, gauging what worked, and what needed improvement, in each area. I do this in December, and take an hour or so to type out my answers.

From year to year, I look back and find a record of my life from year to year, and see where I’ve challenged myself. It’s interesting to have a complete picture after several years of doing this.

Here are the life domains I traditionally use for self-assesment from year to year:

1. Relationships with Others
2. Relationship with Self
3. Money
4. Mental Health
5. Health + Wellness
6. Spirit
7. Hobbies and Interests

I find that I’m able to have an honest conversation with myself to see where I shined, and where I could have spent more time and energy focusing, as to improve on those things next year.

I invite you to try this exercise out. As to accurately gauge your level of progress, it might be helpful to get some feedback from those close to you, especially when it comes to the “Relationships with Others” section. Sometimes, we’re not able to fully appreciate how our relationships with others go, unless we know how they feel about them as well.

Personal Values and Happiness

What this self-assessment is designed to do is to close the gap between what we’re actually doing in our day-today lives, and where we want to be (our values). The more closely we can live our values, the more in synch we our with our life, and the happier we can report our lives to be.

Happiness is more than just a function of how well we’re living our values, of course, but it helps gets us there.Each person is different; therefore, each set of values is going to be completely unique from the next person.

Take an hour out one weekend morning in December, grab a cup of coffee, and write or type out your responses. Put some thought into your responses, and be honest to yourself.

Here are some possible suggestions to think about when you start your self-assessment, based on each category:

1. Relationships with Others

• Which relationships have you felt successful at this past year? Why?
• Which relationships do you think could use more of your attention and energy?
• Pick two people close to you. In what ways would they characterize your relationship with them, both good and bad?
• If you could choose, which is one relationship you would like to see improve? What is one thing that you could do in the next year, on a ongoing basis, to reinvest in that relationship?
• Do you have unfinished business with someone or more than one person? What would it take to help bring some closure to you? A phone conversation? An apology?

2. Relationship with Self

• How would you rate the relationship with yourself over the past year?
• In what ways do you find yourself critical of yourself, or not feeling good enough or inferior? Explain.
• How can you choose one way to help yourself feel better about yourself? Elaborate.
• How do you deal with your needs that go unmet? Do you get angry? Or do you withdraw? How can you make a commitment in 2012 to change that behavioral pattern and communicate your needs?
• Do you know what your needs are? Many guys don’t. Take 5 minutes and look at what you really need from others, and learn to make clear for yourself those needs.

3. Money

• What were some successes and areas of improvement in terms of your financial situation this year?
• Where did you feel most comfortable with money this year? Most uncomfortable? Explain.
• Were your successful in your money goals? Did you meet certain milestones for income, savings, retirement savings?
• How did you discuss money this year with your partner? What could change for you around the conversations you have with your significant other?
• What problems did money bring you this year?
• What would you like to change about your relationship with money in 2012?

4. Mental Health

• Overall, how would you rate your level of mental health from 1-10 in the past year (“1” being most unhappy; “10” being extremely happy)? What would need to change in the new year for that number to rise?
• What three things did you do this year to contribute to your positive mental health? Exercise? Be with friends? Converse?
• What two things consistently trigger a negative mood or negative emotions in you from others?
• What can you identify to work on in 2012 to contribute to a better overall mental health, including diet, relationships, lifestyle, exercise, counseling, hobbies, time with family, friends, etc.

5. Health + Wellness

• Overall, how would you rate your level of physical health from 1-10 in the past year (“1” being unhealthy; “10” being very healthy)? What would need to change in the new year for that number to rise?
• What stopped you from taking control of your health this year?
• List two excuses that prevented your activity towards greater health.
• What would 2012’s physical health outlook be like, as different from this year’s?
• What successes can you celebrate around your health and well being?
• What limited you physically (e.g. injury, illness, disease) from achieving your physical and health goals?

6. Spirit

• Did you engage in things to fill your spirit in the last year? What were they?
• How many opportunities did you “commune with nature” in 2011? What were those experiences like?
• Is spiritual engagement important to you? Why?
• What got in your way of filling your spiritual self?
• How can you make time for regular spiritual engagement in the new year (if this is important to you; e.g. yoga, meditation, chi gung, church, spiritual reading, nature, etc.)

7. Hobbies and Interests

• What did you do in 2011 for fun that brought you happiness and a sense of fulfillment?
• What have you been putting off that you’d like to engage in during the new year? Learning a new language? Playing guitar? Urban farming?
• What prevented you from engaging in your hobby this year – time? money? laziness?

These questions are intended to stoke the mental fires a bit, so please, come up with your own questions and ideas for your self-assessment. This is just for you, and honesty and self-disclosure will help you most here. Good luck, and I hope this exercise can help you change what’s not working in your life in 2012.

I work with an increasing amount of guys who find it really hard to say ‘no’ to others, even if it means foregoing their own wants, needs and desires. For these guys, they swallow their own voice to meet the demands of others, usually with women in romantic relationships, but more commonly with coworkers, service providers, people on the street… whomever.

The “nice guys” out there look unassuming on the surface. They’re extra friendly, people love them, and their generally non-toxic to others. It’s when it comes to themselves that the problems begin.

Here are some features of the “Nice Guy”:

• Has a hard time saying ‘no’ to others, including intimate partners
• Doing for others until they’re tired, or exhausted
• Have a high degree need for appreciation or validation, and will work hard for it
• Not feeling in control of relationships
• Carry around guilty feelings
• Being dependent on others – including women – or “orbiting” them like a human satellite
• Deals poorly with rejection
• Takes many things very personally
• Tries to be the life of the party, make others laugh, take on other’s personalities

Fundamentally, Nice Guys don’t know how to meet their needs, because if their needs are known, they could not be met by those who are in the position to meet those needs. Instead, they end up playing games – sometimes through coersion or manipulation – through playing the role of the “nice guy”. They’re not straight with others, or themselves. It’s too risky to be oneself, because the role or mask is the one they think gets all of the attention and validation. Nice Guys forget that pleasing other people is not pleasing themselves.

The other issue is anger. Anger gets stuffed within nice guys, but ends up seeping out as passive aggressive behavior. Their anger cannot be communicated directly, because of the risk that runs of being rejected or abandoned. But, it has to go somewhere, and so it gets filtered through other ways like the passive-aggressive approach. This can be displayed through constant joking, sarcasm, not being straight with one’s anger, playing the victim, etc.

A good book on the topic of “nice guys” was written a couple of years back by Dr. Robert Glover. “No More Mr. Nice Guy” explains these types of issues that guys struggle with. It’s worth a read.

If you think you’re a “Nice Guy” and want to start to break the cycle, start by understanding how you can’t say ‘no’ to others. Is it fear? Is is rejection? Are you taking too much ownership or responsibility for other people?

• Practice saying no in small ways, and try building up to the big ‘no’s.
• Start monitoring your anger and seeing how it might leak out in less direct ways, as mentioned above.
• Work on validating your own self more, instead of being dependent on other’s to fill you up
• Start to differentiate between those people that are truly your friends, and those people who are friendly with you because you do things for them solely. If the relationship isn’t reciprocal, reconsider your investment in it.
• Look at your schedule, and determine which activities, chores, events, etc. you do that’s for others, and really reconsider what you’re getting out of the deal? Is it worth my time? Does it prevent me from taking care of myself adequately

I was once a “Nice Guy,” and let me tell you: it’s a lot better on the other side. People still like me, even more so than when I was trying to be nice and cordial all of the time. I understand the struggles, and reform can happen if you work at it.

New! Affordable Counseling Services in Phoenix – Starting Today! Now only $60 a session!

If you’ve been putting off counseling, and expenses have been an issue these days, we’ve got just the deal for you. And it’s gotten a little better.

Phoenix Men’s Counseling expands it’s service menu to include affordably priced counseling for individuals and couples.

Counseling services will be offered by Trent Leupp, a counseling student intern from Argosy University in Phoenix, under the direct supervision of a licensed professional counselor – yours truly. Sessions are now priced at $60 for a 50-minute counseling session with Trent.

Appointments are currently being set up, and there are a limited amount of bookings available.

New to counseling? Been hesitant to give it a try? This is your opportunity to start to make a real investment in your well-being and your relationships.

Contact Jason at 602.309.0568, or visit us at www.phoenixmenscounseling.com to book an online appointment.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what is takes to be a good man. I think there are plenty of answers out there: from media and culture, to our own preconceptions of what it means to be a man. But what if we truly listened to ourselves and came up with our own answers?

I’ve decided to put together a men’s self-assessment, and included five areas of life that I think are key to developing oneself as a man. Take a couples of minutes out on a break to consider your answers to these life areas.

• Living Your Values
• Do you live by what you believe in? How so?
• Is there a difference between what you believe in and how you practice your life? If yes,
• Being Genuine/Authentic
• Are you truly open and honest about your thoughts, feelings and behaviors to those close to you? If not, how do you prevent or inhibit yourself?
• Are you generally being true with yourself? If not, how are you untrue to yourself?
• Taking Responsibility
• Do you find yourself playing the ‘victim’ to others, or life in general? How?
• Is it hard to “own” your stuff, even if it’s negative, paints you in a negative light, or tarnishes your facade? Why?
• Practicing Self-Respect
• Do you practice regular self care, such as exercise, good nutrition, stress management? If not, what gets in your way?
• Can you keep healthy boundaries with others (i.e. be firm with others by saying ‘no’, not compromising your values, etc.). If not, how are you flexible on your boundaries with others?
• Do you criticize or judge yourself too harshly? What do you get out of this, if you do?
• Navigating Life Balance
• How does your life tip out of balance? What are your “traps” to fall out of balance (i.e. work, kids, etc.)
• Would others in your life consider you to be balanced in your life? What would they say?
• What is one area of your life that begs for your attention, in needing more balance? What is one thing you can do to feed that unattended part of your life?

What answers did you come up with? Were you surprised by any of your answers? It’s hard to take an honest look at ourselves, when life commands our attention, or when our perception of ourselves is filtered through other people.

If you came up with more questions, let those be the starting point to develop your next answers. How can you develop an action plan to be able to improve some of these life areas for yourself? Will it take time, money, energy, other people – what resources will you need to seek out to help you in developing these things?

Taking an honest look at ourselves takes some courage, especially if we’re not in the habit of doing so. Try to make small but incremental changes in developing your awareness. You can’t change what you’re not aware of, so stay open and get others feedback if you choose. All the luck and support to you.

So often, we catch ourselves lost in our thought stream – thinking about our long term plans, or just weekend plans, wondering about past regrets we have, or stressing about things that have yet to come true. But, how well do we live grounded in our own present reality?

It’s quite common to get lost in our memories, hopes, fears, goals and stressors. But, when we lose ourselves in those places, life end us passing us by.

Many men live in the regret of the past – whether that’s dwelling on professional opportunities lost or squandered, women that have gotten away or generally idealizing their pasts in a way that we can’t let go. Often times, when we hold onto the past, intrusive thoughts predominate our thinking, and it’s as if we’re living in a parallel world where we’re not quite available to ourselves and others in the present.

Learning to let go of regret, anger and shame is an important step to letting go of the past. Developing more of a compassionate relationship with yourself means not beating yourself up for not taking that dream job, not actualizing your potential as a star tennis player, or failing in previous relationships. Living in the present moment often entails working through grief as a way to let go of the past, even if the past is so easy to hold on to.

The problem most men face is that they avoid their emotions. In doing this, what happens is that we develop these mental fixations on things in the past or future, and the negative emotions stay stuck and frozen. If you create space to see just how much you’re ruminating on things, people, places, etc., you’ll probably find that you’re avoiding dealing with the emotions that have resulted. Dealing with emotions is hard, especially when they run so deep, but it’s imperative to do so to get unstuck and back into the present moment of your life.

Mindfulness meditation is one way to come to develop more presence and live in the present moment. There are many good books on the subject. Jon Kabat Zinn developed Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR; http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php). Developing a mindfulness meditation practice is helpful to clarifying the mind and learning to detach from one’s thought stream, where suffering lies. It’s not about better avoidance – it’s about being present with everything that arises, including wishful thinking, negative emotions and the pain of our experience of being human.

I personally practice yoga and find it’s a great way to develop more presence and anchor myself in the present moment. There are a number of great yoga studios here in Phoenix, and probably close to your home. Find the yoga style that works best for you, check out different classes from different instructors, and develop a regular routine to experience the best benefits.

Having intimate conversations with those close to you also has the transformative power of change to anchor you back in your present reality. In taking the risk to share fears, hopes, sadness, pain and insecurities with your partner or spouse, a close friend, or a family member, you’ll develop more personal awareness and make contact with those negative emotions in order to expunge them and live more presently.

Lastly, I believe lifestyle has a lot to do with being present – how much sleep you get, if you get regular exercise, how you eat and take care of your body. Optimizing your lifestyle and learning what works best for your body will most definitely help you to get closer access to the present moment. Tune in and listen to your body to see how much sleep you’ll need, when too many stimulants or too much alcohol affects your body, or what foods and supplements will be most beneficial to you maximizing your energy and presence.

When you’re bombarded with life chores and events, creating a space to plug out and decompress is hard. It’s easy to get caught in the whirlwind of daily life, but creating a regular space and time to fill yourself up could give you that extra charge you need by doing very little.

See, most men are task-oriented. It’s inconceivable for some guys to think of decompressing and doing nothing. And I’m not necessarily talking about kicking back with a drink or two (or three).

Men can be just as guilty of giving out more than they’re taking in. We end up neglecting ourselves and our need to recharge, which creates problems down the line. When we fail to meet this need, it appears as stress, physical problems, anger, irritability, frustration and feeling generally short with the world. We feel worn out, chronically exhausted and not at rest.

One related issue is that there are some guys who need to be busy 24/7. Some find that they can distract themselves with an ever greater to-do list, or can avoid their problems at home with burying their head in work. I talk with others who “thrive on chaos,” except it’s the chaos that eventually wins in the end.

What to do when creating time alone:

• Recognize that there’s a difference between finding alone time, and disconnecting from your relationship or marriage (if you’re in one). It’s a fine line, and it takes some time to do, but navigating the fine line between finding alone time and still staying connected to your partner is key.
• Communicate with your partner about this need for “plugging out”, and assure them that you are with them, you love them, and you need some decompression/time for yourself. They’ll understand if you communicate this clearly, and if not, they may think you’re avoiding them.
• Identify what makes you happy with the time you’ve got: do I like to just veg on the couch? Do I want to lift weights? Do I want to sit and read, or just contemplate? It’s up to you, and getting in touch with what works for you is important, because it’s different for each person.
• Clearly draw the line in the sand between personal time, work time and family/relationship time. It’s too easy for those lines to blur, and then you go back to feeling irritable and frustrated.
• If you don’t know what that time looks like, or how to just be with yourself, think about it over the next week. Ask yourself “at what points in time do I feel relaxed (when not on vacation)?” “How can I create more of that feeling of relaxation or rest in my home or on my free time?” And, “what’s preventing me from doing more of it?
• Get support from your partner or mate: they’ll understand that need and care for your well-being. Plan on creating both of your alone times at the same time, before you reconnect.
• If you need to immediately decompress when you come in the door, and you’re in a relationship, make that need know when you’re not just walking in the door. Discuss it with your partner at a different date, and tell them it’s important for you to disconnect before reconnecting and talking.

What not to do:

• Fall into smoking pot or drinking for your alone time. If you’re not careful, you may be inadvertently avoiding your pain or problems in your life. Watch out.
• Just expect that the time will present itself to you. You need to take the bull by the horns, and block out the time every week, or every day if need be. You know yourself, and it’s different for each guy.
• Stop communicating your need for time alone on a regular basis with your partner
• Stop planning your schedule to include personal or free time.
• Start planning out more things to-do, because this is your down time
• Fail to create and execute what your down time looks like, because without sketching out what your time looks like, it may not appear.

1. Walk 30 min. a day
2. Practice breathing 5 min. a day
3. Reduce caffeine use
4. Make a to-do list for your upcoming week on Sundays
5. Set your bills up to auto-pay online
6. Plan out your vacation early, and make a budget
7. Plan a “money talk” with your partner once a month
8. Lower your sugar intake a bit, such as sodas, candy, ice cream, and baked goods
9. Plan your errands in an hour or two-hour chunk early on Saturday, so you can free yourself up for the rest of the weekend.
10. Chunk out time twice a day to return e-mails, say at 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM.
11. Ge to know a great online scheduler, like Google Calendar, or for Mac fans, Mobile Me.
12. Brainstorm what you can successfully multitask without adding to your stress levels.
13. Make time for your wife and girlfriend constantly, whether for intimacy, talking or activities.
14. Plan a date night; switch off planning it
15. Use Mint.com for budgeting and money management.
16. Auto-debit your retirement investments, so you don’t have to beat yourself up for not investing.
17. Find a good app for food shopping, if you do the shopping. I like the simple Teax Deux for easy, easy to-do lists, and grocery lists work great – the iPhone app synchs with the online version.
18. Lower your alcohol consumption.
19. Exercise for deeper sleep, which lowers stress.
20. Try yoga. Sign up for a free month with many studios. near you.
21. Listen to free stress management cd’s from your local library.
22. Practice mindfulness meditation to lower stress.
23. Get massages regularly. Yes, plenty of guys do, including me, without shame.
24. Come up with ways to disconnect from work when you’re not at work, like hobbies, interests, friends.
25. Plan your estate documents and get a good estate planning attorney.
26. Talk about what’s stressing you with someone close, like your partner, a parent or close friend.
27. Simply admit you’re stressed. A lot of guys simply can’t come to this awareness, so admit it and take action from there.